An issue that is plaguing our public schools in the U.S. and across the world is teen pregnancy. In the media, teen pregnancy has become glamorized with shows like Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant. As a mom, who has been pregnant twice and blessed with three boys, I can tell you there is nothing glamorous about pregnancy. You gain weight that can make you feel sluggish, you have to pee like crazy, your skin develops weird patches, hair grows where you previously didn't have hair, and to top it all off you vomit around the clock in the beginning unless you're lucky. Pregnancy is hard. For me, it has even been life threatening. I can't imagine having to deal with this at such a young age. But, for Maddi Runkles and many teens like her, this is now a reality. We have to prevent teen pregnancy from happening not because it is wrong for teens to have sex, but because it is hard to be a parent at any age. It is even harder when you are still a kid yourself. We need more comprehensive sex education in our public schools to prevent situations like that of Maddi's. And, to prevent the shame centered around it, the injustices that result from teen pregnancy, and the stereotype that it is wrong for teens to want and to have sex.
Safe sex is always necessary!
Maddi Runkles had sex before marriage as reported by The Washington Post in Joe Heim's article "Teen Banned from Graduation ‘Not Because She Is Pregnant but Because She Was Immoral’". This is a decision that many teens today choose to make, myself included when I was a teen. Maddi is now pregnant and is having her baby in 3 months at the age of 18 years old. Her school tried to expel her, shut her out, made a public post on their website about the "love" that they are giving her through "discipline," and they are now keeping her from walking at her high school graduation. An achievement that was well earned by Maddi. She was a 4.0 student who served as student council president until she became pregnant. Why should this student not get to celebrate her achievement or hold office in her school, because she chose to have sex? I had sex before graduating high school, and the Center for Disease Control (CDC) reported in 2015 that 41% of teens were having sex ("Sexual Risk Behaviors: HIV, STD, & Teen Pregnancy Prevention"). These were the numbers released on the teens surveyed that were honest and felt comfortable disclosing this personal information. That does not mean that these numbers are not higher. Having sex is a personal choice, and it seems that there are only further consequences for teens who choose to engage in this behavior if it results in pregnancy. As long as teens are being safe (by using oral contraceptives or condoms), consenting, legal, and overall responsible, then it is really none of our business what they are doing in their free time.
Always use some kind of contraceptive!
The issue in Maddi's case is that she DID get pregnant. She was not offered sex education in high school, but she was taught abstinence only. Comprehensive sex education is absolutely necessary in our public schools to prevent teen pregnancy. Comprehensive sex education is defined as the following by The Future of Sex Education'swebsite: "The comprehensive sexuality education curriculum should include a variety of topics including anatomy, physiology, families, personal safety, healthy relationships, pregnancy and birth, sexually transmitted diseases including HIV, contraceptives, sexual orientation, pregnancy options, media literacy and more. It should be medically accurate. Qualified, trained teachers should provide sexuality education" ("Definition of Comprehensive Sex Education"). This type of sex education should be in every school district in the U.S. However, it was only offered in 11 of our states in the U.S as reported in an article published by The Public Library of Science in 2011 entitled"Abstinence-Only Education and Teen Pregnancy Rates: Why We Need Comprehensive Sex Education in the U.S."written by Kathrin Stranger Hall and David Hall (4). In fact the results of the study conclude that, "teens in states that prescribe more abstinence education are actually more likely to become pregnant..." as we see in Maddi Runkles case (4). Comprehensive sex education works, and we NEED to include it in EVERY public school.
16 and Pregnant is skewing how teens view pregnancy.
With shows like Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant glamorizing the lifestyle of teen parents by throwing money at the girls that they cast, it is no wonder why girls are getting pregnant at alarming rates. Let's not throw money at this issue in this way! Let's throw some money at comprehensive sex education in our public schools. Teens need to be educated on consent and safe sex. They need this education to take into their adult lives, so we can prevent unwanted pregnancy, sexual assault,sexually transmitted diseases and infections,etc. --not saying that this education will end these issues, but it will help to ensure our students and teens have been equipped with the education to prevent these things from occurring.
God has more to do, trust me.
In Maddi's case, her school is very religious. Her administrators feel that she has committed an egregious sin that should be made into an example. I really think God has more to worry about than this poor girl having sex before marriage. Let her walk. I had sex before marriage, was safe, and did so with consent on both sides. I don't think God views me any differently, and I don't think he views this girl differently for getting pregnant at 18. If we don't want teens getting pregnant, then we need to have better resources for them that include readily accessible information on safe sex practices as well as contraceptives.
It is not shameful to have sex. If we were to make an active decision to talk about this more with our children and actually educate them, then maybe we could enact some change. Maybe we could change the mind of older generations that want to persecute teens for making these decisions. We are all sexual beings and there should be no shame in that. Maddi should be allowed to walk at her graduation. She has done nothing wrong. Let. Her. Walk.
Thanks for reading,
Stacy
Works Cited
"Definition of Comprehensive Sex Education." Futureofsexed.org. Advocates for Youth, n.d. Web. 25 May 2017.
Heim, Joe. "Christian School: Teen Banned from Graduation 'not Because She Is Pregnant but Because She Was Immoral'." The Washington Post. WP Company, 24 May 2017. Web. 25 May 2017.
"Sexual Risk Behaviors: HIV, STD, & Teen Pregnancy Prevention." Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 10 Mar. 2017. Web. 25 May 2017.
Stanger-Hall, Kathrin F., and David W. Hall. "Abstinence-Only Education and Teen Pregnancy Rates: Why We Need Comprehensive Sex Education in the U.S." PLoS ONE 6.10 (2011): 3-4. Google Scholar. Web. 25 May 2017.
Many individuals, myself included, struggle with mental illness or some type of disorder. For me, depression accompanied by anxiety has been a part of my story, since I was 11 or 12 years old. Mental illness is overtly stigmatized in our society. People who live with a mental illness and are open about it are very often unfairly stereotyped at some point as "crazy," "insane," or "out of control." This type of language surrounding mental illness is harmful. When used, it can cause the individuals struggling to withdraw and can potentially reaffirm what they already feel about themselves which could lead to an episode or worse. Normalizing mental illness is my only solution to this problem. We should actively try to learn more about mental illness through research, we should discuss it often, and we should support one another to eliminate unnecessary shame. It's okay to have a mental illness. It's normal.
Me, around the age of my first episode
I had my first depressive episode during the 8th grade. This may sound hard to believe, especially of someone so young, but this is not as uncommon as you may think. The suicide rate for young people ages 15-24 as reported by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention in 2015 was 12.5%. This number is alarming to say the least and only increases with age. As a teacher and a once depressed young person, --not saying that I am cured merely that I am no longer what I consider to be a young person--I worry. I worry about my past students so much. I want them to have resources, and I want their friends and parents to be able to recognize the warning signs and triggers and understand the coping mechanisms. I want normalization for that lonely, distraught, terrified 8th grade girl.
For me, my depression coupled with anxiety are like two dancing shadows. They are dressed in a black darkness and glide up behind me while I am trying to stand in the light. They're inviting me to dance, and I have no say in whether or not I will accept their hands in invitation.
In this video posted by Button Poetry, the speaker describes what depression is like for her through spoken word poetry. The poem tells her story and fight to have her mental illness recognized as valid by her mother:
This video is so powerful, because you can hear the cries of approval. You hear the speaker's voice and the voices of others overcome by affirmation of their like minded feelings. I know I will always have bouts of depression, but videos like this give me hope. Hope that we are building a community of support.
If things become too bad with my depression, I know that I can seek support in other ways. I can do this through counseling when needed, and I have through Multi-County Counseling of Oklahoma. Their services are amazing. I also know there are other resources out there like the Suicide Prevention Lifeline, the Trevor Project, and online support groups. Not everyone knows this or has access to these resources which is why we have to spread this information like our lives depend on it. Because the life of someone we know, very well could.
Tell people how you feel. Offer support. Be there.
There is a popular show on Netflix right now called "13 Reasons Why" based off the young adult novel that demonstrates the need for access to resources and support systems. It brings to light the fact that people with depression who are contemplating suicide rarely reach out on their own. The story that is depicted throughout the series is about a girl, Hannah Baker, who takes her life and the 13 reasons that lead her to the decision. If you notice someone withdrawing like Hannah, then you should go to them. Plead with them. Tell them of their value to this world. We have to try. We have to communicate.
WE can't give up.
In order to enact change, we have to offer support and as much understanding as we can to anyone suffering from a mental illness, so people know with assurance that they aren't in this dance alone. There are so many of us. Each defined by our unique experiences yet existing as parts of the same whole. We all make up the face of mental illness. We need to redefine how the world views us. We are here. We are people trying our best everyday. We want life, and we want a sense of normality. We may not always know how to get their by ourselves, so please offer any help you can to aide in the cause for normalization. We are the new normal; it's time we all accepted it.
At times, mental illness can be so debilitating, but when we stand together there is hope for the future. Hope for the next generation. The more we talk, listen, research, and attempt understanding--the more we do-- the better things will become. Have hope. We can end the stigma together.
Each year around this time, I become extremely reflective. I graduated high school 7 years ago and college 4 years ago. Where has all the time gone? How am I NOT still sitting behind a desk in a classroom in Seminary Hall listening to a lecture and discussion about Storm Front by Jim Butcher and all of Harry Dresden's wacky wizarding ways? I miss being a student as I am sure many of my past students that are graduating today will soon realize that they do as well.
It's a funny thing--growing older. You only become nostalgic about things in your life once they're in the past. But, I suppose as John Green theorizes in "Looking for Alaska," "imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia" in and of itself. As my past students go forth and pursue higher education and careers, I urge you all to only be nostalgic every now and again. Try not to long too much for the past, and try not to worry too much about the future. I know this is easier said than done. But try to live in the present moment, or you will miss the great things happening right now.
I know the future is scary, and many are terrified of things not turning out as expected. My life has definitely not gone according to plan. Don't plan too much. Life is going to smack you in the face with unexpected waves of darkness and trickles of happiness. You will need to learn to ride through the waves and immerse yourself in the trickles. This is the ONLY way I know how to cope with adulthood without letting the waves pull me under into the depths. Don't let the waves pull you under. Don't drown.
I wish you the best. Your generation is so awesome. You are way more politically and socially aware than my generation and even more so than the one before that. You give me hope. My only wish is that these words give you hope as you embark on an incredible and personal journey that you get to be the author of. You are writing your story. Every day. Write it in loud bold colors if you want! Incorporate a slew of pictures. Whatever you do, make it your own. Congrats to the class of 2017.
I have spent a chunk of my time in the past five years surrounded by teenagers whether that be in unpaid internships or in my very own classroom. One issue with our education system in general--not just in Oklahoma-- is the lack of recognition for students who do not exceed our system's demanding and trivializing expectations. Our students and children are so much more than percentages, grade letters, demographics, and standardized test results. Categorizing our students this way is easy, but it's far from fair (i.e. School A-F Report Cards). We need to start treating our average students like they matter! Award season recognizes the exceptional, the students who have the ability to go above and beyond. But what about the rest of the students? What about the majority of learners in our schools?
I am not a person who believes in "participation" awards or trophies given for the sake of trophies. But let's be honest for a second, the children that make up school populations are not just the "best and the brightest" as determined by society's arbitrary standards of excellence. More commonly, our society is made up of kids with real world problems who struggle every day and are rarely recognized for the effort and courage it takes to just wake up, get dressed, and go to school all the while persevering through the million other challenges they face. Academics and sports are not the be all end all. Successful lives are not made or broken based on what someone was like in high school. We are raising and teaching humans, and the common student deserves recognition too for facing their personal challenges and navigating through their academic careers.
With this being said, just think about the "average" life of these teens for a minute. They have to get up and typically be to school by 7:30 a.m., they have jobs, they have after school activities, they have homework, and that is just the basics. Now, throw social media into the mix, cell phones, bullying, sexuality, friendships, world issues, etc.The list goes on and on. Their lives are overwhelming, and they are still developing the cognitive abilities to deal with these very adult challenges. They all deserve to be recognized. Honestly, I do not know how teens manage to navigate young adulthood today. If social media had been apart of my young life as much as it has been ingrained into theirs, then I know for a fact that I would have had a much tougher go of it all.
If you are a young person in school, keep persevering. Keep persisting. Keep going to school. Just because you may not fit into the cookie cutter mold of the "best and brightest" does not mean you are not worthy of recognition. If you're someone who has decided to not finish school or pursue higher education, but you are supporting yourself, then you still deserve recognition. You all do. You're doing a great job. 👍💖👍💖 I applaud you.
It is not shameful to have sex. If we were to make an active decision to talk about this more with our children and actually educate them, then maybe we could enact some change. Maybe we could change the mind of older generations that want to persecute teens for making these decisions. We are all sexual beings and there should be no shame in that. Maddi should be allowed to walk at her graduation. She has done nothing wrong. Let. Her. Walk. 
