Frida Lives On

    Before this past year, I wouldn't have seconded guessed my Halloween costume. If I am being honest, I probably wouldn't have even worn one, because of  my lack of self-confidence.  But this year, I went for it.  I transformed myself into the iconic Mexican artist, Frida Khalo.

    Scrolling through the Frida tag on Instagram proved to be conflicting for me on Halloween day.  As I swiped through the various pictures, I reflected on my own cultural identity. I also questioned whether or not just anyone should be able to dress up as Frida. Should ANYONE be able to apply fake bold eyebrows and don over-sized jewelry and floral crowns? OR  Does dressing as Frida with no personal connection to her culture turn her image into caricature?

    I think it does. It is important to ask yourself questions like these when deciding if you should dress up as a certain person or character. Cultural appropriation is an overt problem especially on Halloween. Don't try on someone else's culture as your own even if "it is just for fun." It's not fun or cute. It's demeaning. Celebrate someone from your own culture instead.

    Celebrating Frida on Tuesday was something that I have been talking about for years. I felt proud to step into her shoes for just one night. Though I will never truly know how her personal struggles affected her mentally and physically, I can say that she was a powerful woman and artist who overcame her inopportune circumstances.  For that, she is an inspiration.  Frida Khalo is the embodiment of the phrase "she believed she could, so she did." I hope to keep persevering through my life's struggles with a even just a shred of her grace and badassery.  Her work and memory inspire me to do so every day of the year.

The First Female Doctor

     If you're a Doctor Who or a sci-fi fan, then you have probably seen this video blowing up the 

nerdosphere over the past two days:

 If you haven't, then give it a watch before reading further!

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    There is insurmountable criticism and just really horrific displays of misogyny surrounding the above video's reveal of the 13th Doctor. Who knew a minute long video could incite so much hate and divide a fandom in the span of 48 hours?

    You may or may not be familiar with Doctor Who, so let me break it down for you. Doctor Who is a show that has been running for a little over a half a century on the BBC. The Doctor is a time traveling alien part of the "Time Lord" race from the planet Gallifray who travels around in a stolen time machine that appears to be a cobalt blue police box known as the T.A.R.D.I.S (Time and Relative Dimension in Space). The T.A.R.D.I.S. takes the wacky and lovable Time Lord where the Doctor wants and needs to go.  It wooshes it's way through the wibbly wobbly mess of space and time, and it is fantastic to watch! 

    During all this gallivanting, the viewers have seen the Doctor encounter many enemies such as: the Cybermen, the Master, the Daleks, the Silence, the Vashta Nerada, etc. With a countless stream of enemies, the Doctor is bound to get hurt. So to keep the show going (most likely when an actor tired of the role), the creators/writers gave the Doctor's race the ability to "regenerate." In other words, the Doctor takes on a new face, dress, and personality when gravely harmed by his enemies during the course of events that would typically cause a human to die.  But most recently, some Whovians have become  the Doctor's enemies.  For the first time in fifty years, the Doctor has regenerated into a woman, played by Jodie Whittaker.  Fans always knew this was a possibility, and for many it is a dream that has come to fruition. Personally, I am still waiting for the Doctor to be ginger. I wonder what River would say about this exciting change?

The Thirteenth Doctor

    All jokes aside, the issue is that the fandom is split. We have one side who is ecstatic to see a woman FINALLY take on the role. And we have the camp that is infuriated that the Doctor is now a woman. To recap, we are discussing a show about a regenerating space alien who travels around in a blue box through space and  time, and the thing that is driving away fans is the new GENDER of said space alien! If you can suspend your disbelief for the show's extraordinary cast of characters, events, and loopholes, but you can't accept the Doctor as woman, then you should probably tuck your misogyny back in. It's showing!

   I'm excited for my children to watch the first ever female Doctor explore space and time while having grand adventures. And I am so so happy for all of the young girls and female fans that love Doctor Who or look up to the Doctor that now have Whittaker's character to admire as a strong female lead. I hope the writers do her justice. I can promise all of you trolls or "loyal fans" out there who are upset about this that the true fandom will not miss you.

Here are just a few comments that I mentioned above for you to peruse:

Can't wait to see her shine despite the trolls!  Welcome, Jodie!  

Cheers!  

Stacy

Because They Can!

Let's talk about this video:

   To preface my critique of this video, let me first give you some background info. on the narrator. This is Mayim Bailik, and she is most widely known for playing Blossom. She also has a PhD in neuroscience and stars as Amy on the Big Bang Theory--one of old media's most problematic television shows.  Back in the early 00's, she appeared on TLC's What Not to Wear which is where I first encountered her. This show definitely contributed to my poor body image growing up as I am sure it did for many other young girls, but I digress.

    This video discusses some hot button issues for me: plus sized representation, sexuality, and female empowerment. Her opinions greatly differ from mine, and everyone is entitled to their views even if they are conservative like Mayim's. However, where my issue lies with this particular video is the way she contradicts herself. When we are talking about smashing the patriarchy through feminism and how we educate our young girls, then we should actually aim to let young girls and women make their own decisions about their bodies and their sexuality and support them in their choices. In this video, she definitely misses the mark by saying that empowering yourself through showing skin is wrong. People can choose to empower themselves ANY way that they want.

  There is nothing wrong with being plus sized.  There is also nothing wrong with being skinny.  And for the love of all things holy, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH SHOWING YOUR SKIN if it is your choice to do so.  It is your body, and you can do whatever you want with it. If you choose to be modest, then that is your choice, and I applaud you for taking claim of your body. However, if you have arrived at this choice because this is what you have been taught, but you have never truly questioned why you choose this for yourself, then self reflection is needed.  Some days, I choose to show more skin, and other days I wear a cardigan because my old demons are whispering in my ears. It has taken me years to quiet these demons, and I will not let someone tell me what I can and cannot do with my body. Someone who judges others based on their personal body choices is not a role model that I want for my future students or my children.  

   We should be educating girls and boys on consent, body image, representation, and empowerment, but by no means should we be attempting to control their thoughts.  We need to leave room open for discussion around these issues, point them toward well researched resources, and let them arrive at their own conclusions. My conclusion here is that Mayim is extremely misguided when it comes to what makes a good role model for young girls and boys. For me, a role model should be inclusive, supportive, and empathetic. This video lacks these qualities and isolates those with differing opinions with the mocking segment at the beginning. As much as I respect her as a female leader in the STEM community, this video is problematic at best.  As Kimothyjoy communicates in this image, "We fight patriarchy not each other." We need to respect each other's choices if we are going to enact change.

To answer Mayim's initial question, why is everyone getting naked? BECAUSE THEY CAN, MAYIM.  Because they can!

What are your thoughts on this video? Please share in the comments.

Thanks for reading,

Stacy

I Remember

    You can't hate yourself into loving yourself. I wish someone would have emphasized this to me when I started having body image issues at the age of 8. This one goes out to all the mean girls--especially to the biggest mean girl of them all, myself.

    I remember being 8 years old with long brown hair in a blue floral bikini at the Chandler Park pool on a scorching summer day. I remember going up to my mom asking for a quarter for the pop machine, so I could get a can of Dr. Pepper. And I remember the lady she was talking with saying, "Oh, this is your daughter! She's so skinny and tan. She could be a little model." I was a normal, 8 year old girl in a bathing suit who had never given much thought to her weight or appearance and didn't quite know how to receive this "compliment." This moment. This exchange is what I feel all of the issues with my body image come back to. Where they're rooted. It's weird how one second the world is innocent. Then, all of a sudden you become self aware, hyper aware, critical, and insecure. It's funny; I don't even remember this woman--really remember her.  I can't even picture her face, but I remember her words. Words stick with you. Words have power and weight. As Maya Angelou once said, "Some day I think we will be able to measure the power of words. I think they are things. They get on the walls. They get in your wallpaper. They get in your rugs, in your upholstery, and your clothes, and finally in to you." The words got to me.

    The first person that I heard use negative language toward their own body, specifically, was my Momma. My Momma is tall and fair skinned. She has bouncy blonde hair that can often be found swept up out of her way. Nothing gets in my mom's way. Not even her hair. She is brown eyed and long nosed. She wears her jewelry like a badge of honor never going anywhere without it. She would look naked to me if I ever saw her without at least one set of earrings, a necklace, and two rings on. She likes jeans, white tennis shoes, hoodies, fuzzy socks, and flouncy blouses. She is my mother. She is strong and beautiful.

My beautiful Momma

    I idolized my mother growing up--I still do. For many girls, they learn self loathing from the women that raise them or just women in general. Whether it be consciously or unconsciously. My Momma is a beautiful strong woman who uses her body every day to work, move, and help people--to help herself, family, and customers. But, I can remember that strong woman being broken down in a dressing room staring at the number or letter(s) on the label of a piece of clothing. I remember. We have all been this woman.  Why do we, strong women, do this to ourselves? 

    I, of course, don't blame the women in my life for thinking of themselves negatively. I don't blame them for it rubbing off on me. I blame society's rigid ideals of women. I blame the magazines, tv shows, and movies. I blame the media. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't dislike all things to do with society and the media--though it may seem that way considering my constant outcry for change. But, the way women are discussed as fragile and delicate (which it is okay to be), and the way women's bodies are discussed and treated, particularly, are the issues that get me fired up. Females are strong as hell. We are so much more than our jean or shirt size. We are moms, teachers, helpers, doers, artists, coaches, lovers, fighters, and so much more. We are women. 

Art by me, Stacy Hall. Quote from the Unbreakable
Kimmy Schmidtt

    I can recall being about 10 or 11 sitting in my mom's beaten down maroon Nissan outside of the Dollar General gaping at the town's homecoming issue of the paper. Staring at the homecoming court and just crying. Crying my eyes out, and telling my mom, "I'll never be one of THOSE girls, will I Momma?" 

    I remember being in the bathroom in 8th grade and having a group of girls tell me, "I wish I could be as skinny as you, Stacy." While when I looked in the mirror, I saw a distorted image of myself.  What they didn't know was that I was too sad to eat. I could control my eating; I couldn't control my surroundings.  

    I can recall being in the 9th grade sitting by myself at lunch eating nothing, being a hundred pounds of skin and bones, writing in a journal while I tried to avoid the eye contact of everyone around me. I remember my Momma being so scared running into the bathroom when I choked on my toothbrush brushing my tongue thinking that I was throwing up what little food I ate. I never did throw up for the record. 

    I can remember sitting on the white and purple floral duvet cover of the extra long twin bed in my dorm room Sophomore year while two of my "friends" sat in the floor and discussed how they had both eaten two cookies today, and they couldn't believe how fat they felt. I also remember them making fun of the size XL shirts they found at Walmart that they said fit them like dresses. I was an XL.  They knew this.  I remember wanting to do nothing but eat a whole container of cookies after they left I was so angry. I remember eating the cookies.

    I have been thin. I have been fat. I remember under eating or eating nothing. I remember telling my parents I was practicing "portion control." I remember binge eating during finals week my Junior year of college, avoiding studying, watching Dawson's Creek, and crying about how messed up my idea of self was. How I didn't know who I was or how I'd ever be happy.

    I remember last summer at 24, having my husband take photos of me in my cute outfits, because I happened to one day come across a post of someone who looked like me with the hashtag "body positivity." I remember finally not being angry at my body anymore. I remember learning to stop hating myself. I remember my journey. It's important not to forget. I am so glad that I finally realized after more than half of my life that you can't hate yourself into loving yourself.

Thanks for reading,

Stacy

What Body Positivity Means to Me

    Finding body positivity, for me, was like finding a best friend hiding around the corner who had been living in the house tucked down the street my whole life that I didn't even know existed.  Except, that friend was me in disguise. She was in plain sight the whole time. I just had to wake up from my dreamy daze and look her in the eyes. And I have finally accepted her, my body, as a beautiful part of myself. Body positivity and being at peace with one's self means something different for everyone. I have only come to realize recently --in the last day-- after speaking with a friend that body positivity can have two vastly different interpretations --and probably many more-- depending on the person.

    Last night, I was puzzled by a post online that I saw on a friend's Facebook. This friend is a woman that I respect, and I admire as a mother and as woman in general. She had posted something that was in favor of altering her body to appear thinner in order to feel better about herself  --I am avoiding specific details as not to single her out, because I respect her. This troubled me, as I am a body positivity advocate, and I turned to a trusted fellow female friend with a very pointed  --and I now see, judgmental-- question: Why are people so hell bent on changing their bodies instead of loving them?  She had the most eye opening and accepting response for me.

    She sent me this video to the song "Most Girls" by Hailee Steinfeld:

Art by me, Stacy Hall, lyrics from "Most Girls"

    This song hit me like a slap in the face. I came to the realization that body positivity is not just about accepting your body for how it is right now, but it is, more importantly, about loving yourself overall. If  you love yourself right now as you are, then that is awesome, and I am so glad that you have started your body positivity journey.  If you don't, then work toward that love in your own way. In your own time. A way that isn't destructive to your body or mental health, but rather in a way that makes you feel good. If that means changing or altering your body to make yourself feel better, then change away, girl! As long as you are doing it in a healthy way, then who am I to judge? Who is anyone to judge? This may seem like a simple revelation and a very obvious one to some, but as a feminist who is still developing and as an advocate, I am learning and trying to unlearn the ideals pushed on me by society every day. 

You can buy this awesome pin here

    Before last night, I saw body positivity as a one way street. The song "Scars to Your Beautiful" by Alessia Cara was a good interpretation of my views toward it previously. But, now I see body positivity as a two lane highway. You just have to pick your lane and drive down your own path paving the way as you go. Pick your lane, or your team if you will. Love yourself as you are now, or work toward it in your own way. Whichever team you pick, I am here to offer you support and hopefully learn from your experiences. That is what is so beautiful about life--if we open our ears, eyes, minds, and hearts, then we can continually learn from one another by educating each other. Thank you, kind friend for broadening my world view. You kick ass, and your girls supporting girls attitude is so powerful and influential! 

Thanks for reading,

Stacy 

Shoulders are NOT Sexual

    As a teacher, once female student, and someone who has struggled with her body image since 8 years old, dress codes infuriate me. Young women -- and young men, though this post will primarily focus on young women--  should be able to express themselves through their fashion without being made to feel shame or being told that they're "a distraction." Shoulders are not sexual. Legs are not sexual. Female skin is not sexual just, because it is shown. Our patriarchal society and print media perpetrate these outdated ideals. Male students who are "tempted" by these things have serious issues if these temptations are so all consuming that they cannot focus on their work, and I don't know that I want them in class with my female students. Why is the girl punished in these situations?  Why is she made to feel shame when she isn't the one with problem?  She is just existing. We aren't responsible for how other people perceive us. Those are personal issues of the individuals doing the perceiving.

     

 

 








    I have seen a few videos of young women speaking about their experiences with public schools' outdated dress codes recently. The first video discusses the story of a high school senior named Summer. She is an honor roll student with a full ride scholarship on the line. She has been persecuted for wearing a shirt. SHE WAS ALMOST ARRESTED OVER A SHIRT! A non revealing shirt--not that it should matter-- at that. Tell me why this student's diploma and pursuit of higher education should be on the line because of a shirt? How is this okay? Our schools DO NOT have their priorities straight. Our students' education and productive learning experiences are paramount above ALL else. When we start to make schools rigid environments for female students to express themselves and to feel comfortable, then we are failing. We are failing them. We have to do better.

    This second video tells the story of another female student who was sent home for baring her shoulders. Her circumstances are different than that of Summer's. This student was wearing a strapless dress to school, because the school's air conditioning was out. She was hot, and she wanted to be comfortable. Who in their right mind can argue with her logic? She was hot. She was dressing for the circumstances in which she was being forced to

learn: Teen Sent Home for Strapless Dress

.

All of our bodies deserve respect.  All bodies are good bodies.

    In my personal experience teaching, I have had male students tell other female students, "You look sexual today." My response went something like this, "Excuse me? I am sorry, WHAT did you just say? Did you just make a very sexist comment that could be construed as harassment if you were in a place of work or a public space? I think you did. That is unacceptable, and you need to apologize and treat your female peers with respect." It is completely ridiculous that I have to tell male students this. That I have to make examples of them in my classroom. A CLASSROOM that is supposed to be a safe space and productive learning environment for all. Where we are supposed to practice tolerance and respect. We need to teach young men how to stop sexualizing young girls and women. On top of that, we need more comprehensive sexual education in our public schools--especially in Oklahoma where it isn't even required.

High School

   As a high school student, I typically looked like this: 

  There is NOTHING wrong with this. I wanted to look this way. I was never sent home for it, and this picture shows overtly sexualized body parts, my breasts, as opposed to shoulders that are not even remotely sexual.

    Our public schools better get it together, because young women are educated about feminist issues today, unlike myself at their age. And I promise they won't be silent, public schools of America and the world. The future is female. They are coming for you. 

Art by Kimothy Joy--one of my favorite female artists of the moment

Thanks for reading,

Stacy

Nostalgic Ramblings of a Past Graduate

    Each year around this time, I become extremely reflective. I graduated high school 7 years ago and college 4 years ago. Where has all the time gone? How am I NOT still sitting behind a desk in a classroom in Seminary Hall listening to a lecture and discussion about Storm Front by Jim Butcher and all of Harry Dresden's wacky wizarding ways? I miss being a student as I am sure many of my past students that are graduating today will soon realize that they do as well. 

    It's a funny thing--growing older. You only become nostalgic about things in your life once they're in the past. But, I suppose as John Green theorizes in "Looking for Alaska," "imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia" in and of itself. As my past students go forth and pursue higher education and careers, I urge you all to only be nostalgic every now and again. Try not to long too much for the past, and try not to worry too much about the future. I know this is easier said than done. But try to live in the present moment, or you will miss the great things happening right now. 

    I know the future is scary, and many are terrified of things not turning out as expected. My life has definitely not gone according to plan. Don't plan too much. Life is going to smack you in the face with unexpected waves of darkness and trickles of happiness. You will need to learn to ride through the waves and immerse yourself in the trickles. This is the ONLY way I know how to cope with adulthood without letting the waves pull me under into the depths. Don't let the waves pull you under. Don't drown. 

     I wish you the best. Your generation is so awesome. You are way more politically and socially aware than my generation and even more so than the one before that. You give me hope. My only wish is that these words give you hope as you embark on an incredible and personal journey that you get to be the author of. You are writing your story. Every day.  Write it in loud bold colors if you want! Incorporate a slew of pictures. Whatever you do, make it your own. Congrats to the class of 2017.

Thanks for reading,

Stacy

Recognition for the So-Called "Average" Student

    I have spent a chunk of my time in the past five years surrounded by teenagers whether that be in unpaid internships or in my very own classroom. One issue with our education system in general--not just in Oklahoma-- is the lack of recognition for students who do not exceed our system's demanding and trivializing expectations. Our students and children are so much more than percentages, grade letters, demographics, and standardized test results. Categorizing our students this way is easy, but it's far from fair (i.e. School A-F Report Cards). We need to start treating our average students like they matter! Award season recognizes the exceptional, the students who have the ability to go above and beyond. But what about the rest of the students? What about the majority of learners in our schools?

    I am not a person who believes in "participation" awards or trophies given for the sake of trophies. But let's be honest for a second, the children that make up school populations are not just the "best and the brightest" as determined by society's arbitrary standards of excellence. More commonly, our society is made up of kids with real world problems who struggle every day and are rarely recognized for the effort and courage it takes to just wake up, get dressed, and go to school all the while persevering through the million other challenges they face. Academics and sports are not the be all end all. Successful lives are not made or broken based on what someone was like in high school. We are raising and teaching humans, and the common student deserves recognition too for facing their personal challenges and navigating through their academic careers.

    With this being said, just think about the "average" life of these teens for a minute. They have to get up and typically be to school by 7:30 a.m., they have jobs, they have after school activities, they have homework, and that is just the basics. Now, throw social media into the mix, cell phones, bullying, sexuality, friendships, world issues, etc.The list goes on and on.  Their lives are overwhelming, and they are still developing the cognitive abilities to deal with these very adult challenges. They all deserve to be recognized. Honestly, I do not know how teens manage to navigate young adulthood today. If social media had been apart of my young life as much as it has been ingrained into theirs, then I know for a fact that I would have had a much tougher go of it all.

    If you are a young person in school, keep persevering. Keep persisting. Keep going to school. Just because you may not fit into the cookie cutter mold of the "best and brightest" does not mean you are not worthy of recognition. If you're someone who has decided to not finish school or pursue higher education, but you are supporting yourself, then you still deserve recognition. You all do. You're doing a great job. 👍💖👍💖  I applaud you.

Thanks for reading,

Stacy

An Introduction and Labels

    Throughout my young adult life, I have encountered people from all walks of life. As Malala Yousafazi affirmed in an interview, "There should be no discrimination against the languages people speak, skin color, or religion." My takeaway from this quote and my belief above all else: there should be no discrimination. I, myself, am a minority. I am a person of color (POC), a teacher, a mother, a woman, an Oklahoman, an artist, a body positivity advocate, a feminist, and so much more than these labels. But society defines us, so I might as well OWN my labels.

    Despite all of these labels that have somewhat of a positive connotation that make up my person, I have been labeled much more harshly lately, or rather I should say ignorantly. Have you heard the terms "snowflake" or "lib 'tard" being used recently? That's me in a nutshell. This is how many members of my community would choose to define me. These labels do not bother me. If this is what it means to believe in a world that can one day be more inclusive, then yes, I am by definition a "snowflake."

    I hope I have not scared too many of you off by using terms like "lib 'tard" and "feminist." So many people find these terms offensive or threatening in some way.  I want to use this platform to help you examine why you feel this way.  I want to have a discussion.  But let me make this clear, I want to have a discussion free of belittlement and harassment.  Once the discussion becomes unproductive, I am done with whomever makes it so. My goal is for this to be a safe space, and I will NOT let people make me feel unsafe.

    This is me. I will be sharing my thoughts on Oklahoma's educational system, healthcare, equality, feminism, motherhood, and a variety of other topics. I implore you to join in on this discussion with me.

Thanks for reading,

Stacy