Shoulders are NOT Sexual

    As a teacher, once female student, and someone who has struggled with her body image since 8 years old, dress codes infuriate me. Young women -- and young men, though this post will primarily focus on young women--  should be able to express themselves through their fashion without being made to feel shame or being told that they're "a distraction." Shoulders are not sexual. Legs are not sexual. Female skin is not sexual just, because it is shown. Our patriarchal society and print media perpetrate these outdated ideals. Male students who are "tempted" by these things have serious issues if these temptations are so all consuming that they cannot focus on their work, and I don't know that I want them in class with my female students. Why is the girl punished in these situations?  Why is she made to feel shame when she isn't the one with problem?  She is just existing. We aren't responsible for how other people perceive us. Those are personal issues of the individuals doing the perceiving.

     

 

 








    I have seen a few videos of young women speaking about their experiences with public schools' outdated dress codes recently. The first video discusses the story of a high school senior named Summer. She is an honor roll student with a full ride scholarship on the line. She has been persecuted for wearing a shirt. SHE WAS ALMOST ARRESTED OVER A SHIRT! A non revealing shirt--not that it should matter-- at that. Tell me why this student's diploma and pursuit of higher education should be on the line because of a shirt? How is this okay? Our schools DO NOT have their priorities straight. Our students' education and productive learning experiences are paramount above ALL else. When we start to make schools rigid environments for female students to express themselves and to feel comfortable, then we are failing. We are failing them. We have to do better.

    This second video tells the story of another female student who was sent home for baring her shoulders. Her circumstances are different than that of Summer's. This student was wearing a strapless dress to school, because the school's air conditioning was out. She was hot, and she wanted to be comfortable. Who in their right mind can argue with her logic? She was hot. She was dressing for the circumstances in which she was being forced to

learn: Teen Sent Home for Strapless Dress

.

All of our bodies deserve respect.  All bodies are good bodies.

    In my personal experience teaching, I have had male students tell other female students, "You look sexual today." My response went something like this, "Excuse me? I am sorry, WHAT did you just say? Did you just make a very sexist comment that could be construed as harassment if you were in a place of work or a public space? I think you did. That is unacceptable, and you need to apologize and treat your female peers with respect." It is completely ridiculous that I have to tell male students this. That I have to make examples of them in my classroom. A CLASSROOM that is supposed to be a safe space and productive learning environment for all. Where we are supposed to practice tolerance and respect. We need to teach young men how to stop sexualizing young girls and women. On top of that, we need more comprehensive sexual education in our public schools--especially in Oklahoma where it isn't even required.

High School

   As a high school student, I typically looked like this: 

  There is NOTHING wrong with this. I wanted to look this way. I was never sent home for it, and this picture shows overtly sexualized body parts, my breasts, as opposed to shoulders that are not even remotely sexual.

    Our public schools better get it together, because young women are educated about feminist issues today, unlike myself at their age. And I promise they won't be silent, public schools of America and the world. The future is female. They are coming for you. 

Art by Kimothy Joy--one of my favorite female artists of the moment

Thanks for reading,

Stacy

My Truth: An Examination of Perception

    I have always struggled with my perception of myself and the way I fit into this collage of a world. Am I a torn tattered piece ripped from a ratty and weathered magazine? Sloppy. Careless. Or am I a  piece snipped with the utmost precision? The lines and edges smooth and straight. Am I both?  Growing up an overweight female, an ethnically diverse one at that, in a predominantly white town in a country that capitalizes on the sexualization of women hasn't helped me grapple with my struggling perception of myself. I can tell you with assurance that after 25 internally warring years that I perceive myself as a body positive Hispanic woman.

Body positivity in a nutshell.

A collage I created in middle school. This was an attempt to define myself through my art. I was trying to give myself a voice when I  felt I didn't have one at all. I worked on this for years if that tells you anything. 

    The world tells me that many things are wrong with this idea of myself that I have crafted, molded, shaped and reshaped in my mind. I have only come to realize in the past few years that it is not me that is wrong, but the world and society in general. Why can we not be human with flaws and individual distinctions? And why is there this underlying pressure and system that exists and is forced upon women to adhere to? To be thin. To be quiet. To wear a smile always. To love a man. To be light skinned. To be dark skinned.

    In this world and the U.S. in particular, women are told who to be, how to be, and what to be from the day that they are born. I have been told by the women in my life--my entire life--to be "thin" or "curvy" but not "fat." I have been told to speak my mind and that I "can be anything," but as soon as I speak with conviction, power, passion, then I have been told that I am being too loud and that I need to reign it in. I am sorry if my truth--the truth I so desperately need to speak-- that has been welling up inside for my entire life beating its fists against my insides trying to break free just one hushed whisper is too loud for you. Not. Sorry. I am not going to be told who I should be so that I fit into society's idealized and outdated perception of a woman. I. Am. Not. I am a size 18 woman with belly overhang, cellulite, jiggly arms, and stretch marks. And I am beautiful. I love my body and everything that it does for me.

I am sure if you look at these photos long enough your implicit biases will start to activate, and you will be able to decide which photos show a picture of a white woman and which show a Hispanic one.   

What about these selfies?

    As I have made peace with my body, I have had to examine where my features originate from. They come from my mom who is white and my father who is white and Hispanic. This is who I am, and I can't change it. To say that I have not benefited from white privilege in my lifetime would be ignorant at best. And to say that I have never been discriminated against for looking Mexican and having a Hispanic last name would be even more so. No, I don't  think your jokes about my ethnicity are funny. They aren't cute or harmless. And neither are you. I might smile through them or even muster a small laugh, but I promise you that in my mind I am calling you an idiot. The interesting thing about my appearance is that I can look very white which I am. Or I can look Hispanic which I also am. It depends. My skin stays much much lighter in the winter and darker in the summer. If reading this, you do not think that this has impacted the way I am perceived and treated by others, then you're lying to yourself about how biased and discriminatory the world can be. How biased and unknowingly discriminatory you, yourself, can be. Lucky for me, I now have what would be considered a white last name through marriage. Or is it lucky? Or does it just make everything that much more complicated?

Does one of these images de-
pict a Mexican woman and one a Cau-
casion woman? Or do you just per-
ceive it to be that way? Why? They
are the SAME person.

    Take it from me, speak your truth as loud or as soft as you wish. By doing this, you can shape the perception of yourself. You can be a voice that advocates for yourself. You can be you--wholeheartedly you--and not what the world perceives you to be. Speak it now and release it from its internal cage. 

      

Thanks for reading,

Stacy